1 Kings 19:4

‘Then he requested for himself
that he might die, and said,
“It is enough. Now, O Yahweh,
take away my life”’
(1 Kings 19:4)

These words show the prophet Elijah in utter despair. He’d had enough and wanted to die. Even those most anointed with God’s ‘“spirit and power”’(Luke 1:17), like Elijah, are basically just ‘like’(James 5:17) us, ‘clay vessels’(2 Corinthians 4:7), who can crack easily. Observing his journey might help us.

Elijah prophesied to the breakaway northern kingdom of Israel, after its split from ‘Judah’(1 Kings 12:20) in the south. This Israel had gone from bad to worse, and Ahab, their latest king, had done more ‘to provoke Yahweh [i.e. God]… than all the kings of Israel… before him’(1 Kings 16:33), including marrying the idol worshipping Jezebel, and following her god ‘Baal’(1 Kings 16:31)!

So ‘Elijah’(1 Kings 17:1ff.) appeared, initially to pray ‘that it might not rain’(James 5:17), and then to ‘“hide”’(1 Kings 17:3) elsewhere until ‘the third year’(1 Kings 18:1), when he was to present himself ‘to Ahab’(1 Kings 18:1ff.) and challenge the ‘“prophets of Baal”’(1 Kings 18:19ff.). God responded with spectacular ‘fire’(1 Kings 18:38), so the people fell on their faces declaring “Yahweh, He is God!”’(1 Kings 18:39). Again Elijah ‘prayed’(James 5:18, cf. 1 Kings 18:42ff.), ‘rain’(1 Kings 18:45) came, then ushered by ‘Yahweh’s hand’(1 Kings 18:46) he ran to ‘Jezreel’(1 Kings 18:46, cf. 21:1), probably expecting an ongoing national revival.

Instead, support seems to have evaporated rapidly, like the seed sown in ‘“rocky places”’(Mark 4:16ff.), and Elijah fled, pursued by the weighty murderous threats of ‘Jezebel’(1 Kings 19:2ff. cf. 18:13). So we find him in ‘the wilderness’(1 Kings 19:4), burnt out and despondent, having had ‘“enough”’.

So even Elijah could feel like this, and we’re in good company if ever feeling the same. The apostle Paul likewise, along with his companions, could feel ‘weighed down exceedingly, beyond our power… that we despaired’(2 Corinthians 1:8). We can be strangely ‘comforted’(2 Corinthians 1:6) through realising this.

The reason for Elijah’s discouragement is instructive too. He’d given his all for ‘“Yahweh”’(1 Kings 19:10&14), perceiving (quite correctly) that God was with him, yet everything seemed to have come to nothing. God warned the later Isaiah that he would minister amongst those who ‘“‘hear… but don’t’”’(Isaiah 6:9ff.) respond appropriately. Sometimes it’s the plan, born of ‘wisdom… unsearchable’(Romans 11:33). Such scenarios don’t necessarily mean that we’ve misread the script, perhaps simply not grasped the plot yet – like Peter when he said to Jesus: ‘“This will never be done to you”’(Matthew 16:22) regarding the cross!

However, struggling with discouragement can give us an overly negative view of the situation, which appears to have been the case with Elijah here: ‘“I only, am left”’(1 Kings 19:10&14). God gently corrects him by mentioning a remnant of ‘“seven thousand”’(1 Kings 19:18) faithful ones, who Elijah might reasonably have assumed to exist, given that he knew Obadiah had sheltered ‘“one hundred… prophets”’(1 Kings 18:13) earlier, who probably were still alive.

Elijah’s thinking and emotions certainly seem to have been in turmoil. He’d run ‘for his life’(1 Kings 19:3), yet requested ‘he might die’. He’d just seen the amazing power of God, yet fled from Jezebel – did he doubt God’s power, or maybe he feared the plan, considering the outcome for some other ‘“prophets”’(1 Kings 18:13)? Perhaps he even thought that to ‘“hide”’(1 Kings 17:3) might be God’s will again? At least he appears to have been running towards ‘God’s Mountain’(1 Kings 19:8), unless ‘Yahweh’s angel’(1 Kings 19:7) only revealed that reality half way there – God can graciously guide our steps like that, even when mired in confusion.

Certainly Elijah did the right thing in expressing his turmoil to God. We should try the same, even if all we can manage is ‘groanings which can’t be uttered’(Romans 8:26), and if we can’t even manage that our gracious God can find us, whether hiding in ‘the uttermost parts’(Psalm 139:9) or under the duvet at home. There we can be refreshed, which might involve quite simple and practical things, like sleep, bread and ‘water’(1 Kings 19:6), before feeling the flow of its metaphorical ‘“living”’(John 7:37) equivalent, although we might have to ‘wait’(Psalm 27:14). Nevertheless, He’s a God who ‘gathers together the outcasts… heals the broken’(Psalm 147:2-3) and ‘is near to those… who have a crushed spirit’(Psalm 34:18).

Importantly, we might need to be reminded, like Elijah here, that although God can feel near in the drama of our ‘“Mount Carmel”’(1 Kings 18:19ff.) experiences, He’s also encountered through a ‘still small voice’(1 Kings 19:12) in the ‘desert’(Luke 5:16). In such refreshing oases we can find our feet and next steps. So let’s seek, listen and ‘“Go…”’(1 Kings 19:15ff.).

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